5 Things I’ve Discovered As An Autistic Person At Work

1. Poking holes in a plan is a way to be thorough and prepared for what's coming.

In work environments, I’ve learned this about myself: I often challenge a proposed plan. I do this in front of others as a way to ensure nothing is missed and that the plan is complete. I’ve found that this approach often differs from others—people often view this as being negative and sometimes get their feelings hurt. What I view is helpful, many view as hurtful. Sometimes I've had to go to individuals after a meeting to explain my approach to clear the air, but this was something that I didn't recognize for many years.

2. My “inflexibility” protects me from overstimulation.

I've noticed that in many work environments flexibility is often praised. People often drop what they're doing to attend to an urgent need (“put out a fire”) or to have a meeting that needs to happen in-person immediately. My response to sudden changes has been one of feeling overwhelmed, panicked, and unprepared for the sudden shift in direction. As I've learned more about autism, I've learned that for me having to pivot quickly in the middle of the day causes me to feel overstimulated and my anxiety increases dramatically. Being able to prepare in advance for what's coming and having a schedule that matches the day helps me feel less overstimulated and much calmer.

3. My withdrawal from social situations is a way to restore and reserve my energy.

For many at work, having social gatherings with coworkers can be an energizing and fun experience. For me, I found that I only have so much energy throughout the day, and I have to be careful about where I use that energy before it's all gone. Socializing with neurotypical coworkers requires quite a bit of energy for me, as I'm thinking through the appropriate small talk, what questions I need to ask in order to show interest, and how to respond when others ask me about myself. Unfortunately, many people often ask vague, open-ended questions to which I find myself unsure how to respond even though I want to. I’ve found that typically for me, I have the energy to make one social event per week, but anything beyond that starts sending me into burnout.

4. My intense interests are very important to me.

If you want to know me, you would benefit by asking me about my intense interests (an autistic trait). I've noticed that there's often a disconnect with coworkers at work when I start talking about my intense interests (like weightlifting/bodybuilding, psychology). I get excited and I want to keep talking about them, but others don't appear to be as interested or don't ask any additional questions. I'm often frustrated by this because I want to connect and build relationships, but others don't seem to understand how important my interests are. I've noticed that I tend to gravitate towards other neurodivergent friends because they like to ask about my interests and are curious about what I'm into even if it may not be something that they're into.

5. I'm so adept at masking that over the years I’ve often missed autism in myself. 

From countless jobs and work experiences, I’m able to use my systematizing skills to quickly understand what the expectations are or to quickly learn (by observing others) what the unspoken expectations and norms are at work. I'm continually monitoring to make sure that I fit in, that I don't say anything stupid, and that I fly under the radar so that I can just get my work done and not cause any issues. This form of masking at work has made me highly productive and often a valued coworker, to the detriment of my mental health. In many ways, masking is a form of inauthenticity for me. After being diagnosed with autism later in life, I am starting to feel I can be more honest with myself and stop hiding my identity from myself and others.